August 30th Humor

# I called the temp agency looking for work, and they asked if I had any phone skills. I responded,”I called you, didn’t I?”

“You are being arraigned here today for claiming your cats as dependents on your taxes,” the judge told the defendant, “and treating your losses at a casino as capital losses.” “How then do you plead to the charge of tax evasion?” “Guilty, your honor.”  “Do you have anything to say before I set you’re fine?” the judge asked. ” Are fines tax deductible?”

* “Well, little man,” inquired the kindly old visitor, “When did you first see the light of day?” “Two years ago.”  “but  you’re much older than two.” “Sure, but I was in Pittsburgh for the first five years.”