April 10 Humor

+ There was a man who was marooned on a deserted island. He had made a life for himself and was crudely dressed and had a long beard. One day as he walked the surf and shapely young lady came out of the water in a wet suit. He was amazed and the woman asked, “Have you been here  long?” He replied, “since 2005.”  She asked, “How long has it been since you had a cigarette?” He said “A long time.” She reached into the suit and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and they lit up together. She asked him, “how long has it been since you had a drink?” He said, “A long time.” She opens another pocket and pulls out a flask of whiskey and they share a drink. She asks him, “How long has it been since you played around?” He looked at her wistfully and said, “A long time.” She reached up and started to unzip the front of her wet suit and the stranded man said, “Don’t tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there too.”

 # When my son Christopher was 10 years old, he told me about a classroom assignment he was given. “I have to make a list of the things that had not yet been invented when you were 10,” he said pencil poised over paper.  “Well, for starters, the wheel,” I replied waiting patiently for the laugh that never came. I felt even worse when he wrote it down. “Okay, the wheel,” he said. “What else?”

@ On an upper Manhattan sidewalk a woman was causing a little commotion by walking her 4 foot Iguana on leash with a rhinestone collar. People walking by stopped to look and then double take. Some stopped and asked questions and then moved on. Two boys walked by and one said to the other: “Wow, that is one ugly dog.”