August 10 Humor

* As a museum tour guide I took a group of elementary children through the museum and they came upon the skeleton of a dinosaur. The guide explained how big the dinosaur was and how it ate and lived and then said the dinosaur was “extinct”. “That means it died a many, many years ago”. A little girl  looked up at me with big eyes and asked, “Were you sad when it happened?”

@ Supreme court justice Frankfruter was asked by one his friends to officiate at their daughters wedding. He declined saying that he was not authorized to perform weddings. The host incredulously asked, “A Supreme court justice and you can’t perform a wedding. Why is that?”  He answered , “I guess they do not consider that a federal offense.”

@ I waited and waited for my turn in traffic court to pay my ticket for running a red light. I told the judge that I needed to have my case put ahead, because I was a teacher and needed to get back to class. The judge got a gleam in his eye, cocked his head and said, “Madam, I have been waiting for a teacher in my court. Now sit down at that table over there and write – I will not crash red lights,  500 times.”