December 19 Humor

* As I made lunch for my granddaughter the telephone rang and the telemarketer on the other end said, “If you can answer one question you can win 10 free dance lessons.” Before I could respond he fired off the question. “You will be the lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented.”   Trying to discourage him I said, “I Don’t know.”  He asked “What do you have in your hand right now?” I answered, “a bologna sandwich.” He yelled on the other end, “Congratulations, you have won and for having such a great sense of humor…”

@ My cousin went to a furniture store to apply for a salesman job opening they had advertised. When he got there for the interview there were three people ahead of him. While they took their turns being interviewed he started talking to shoppers and sold $2600 of furniture. He got the job.

@ A computer software salesman dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells the salesman that he can choose between heaven and hell. First he shows him heaven, where people wear white robes play harps and float around all day. “Dull”, says the salesman. Next St. Peter shows him hell: toga parties, good food and wine, people looking as though they were having a great time. “I’ll take hell,” he says. The software salesman enters the gates of hell and immediately set upon my dozens of demons, who poke him with pitchforks and the salesman demands as Satan walks past, “What happened to the party I saw going on”? Satan replies, “You must’ve seen our demo.”