December 20 Humor

* A kennel advertised a talking dog for sale for $25. A man did not believe it, but came to check it out. He buyer said, “Who are you kidding with this talking dog thing. What is the catch?”   At that point the sad dog looked up at the buyer and explained. “Please rescue me for only $25 bucks. This owner is mean to me and never feeds me or walks me. I have not been to the vet in years. I was once the fastest rising trick dog in the circus and I served in army and got three ribbons in Desert Storm.’   The buyer was aghast he said, “this dog really does talk. Why are you selling him for only $25?” The owner explained, “I cannot stand his lies.”

@ The regular gas station I go to, took away their free air hose and put in a machine that charged  quarters. I complained to the clerk that it was sad that they took away something that was free for years. The clerk excused himself saying, “It’s not my fault, It’s inflation.”

I was trying to get my husband to lose weight and cut his cholesterol. So nearly every meal had chicken instead of beef and vegetables instead of French fries. We went to the neighborhood restaurant and I looked over the menu for some healthy selections.   My husband piped up and said “Whenever I come here I have the chicken breast.”    Just then the waitress came up and recognized my husband as a regular and said, “I know what you want,” whipping out her pad, “a steak sandwich with french fries.”