* The climate change geniuses have finally figured out why Buffalo New York gets so much snow in the winter. They live in exactly the spot where the arctic winds from Northern Canada meet the hot air coming north from Washington DC and turns it to snow to bury Buffalo.
* If you are a movie director, how do you get a wild buffalo to attack a man without endangering either creature? It turned out in the movie Dances with Wolves they had a stunt Buffalo that loved Oreo cookies. So in the scene where the buffalo comes charging at the hero the real action is the behind the star in a big pile of Oreos waiting.
@ Working at the post office, I’m used to dealing with a moody public, so when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded with my “calmest” voice, “What’s the trouble?” “I went out this morning”, she began, “and when I came home I found a card that says the mailman tried to deliver a package, but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing.” After apologizing, I got her parcel. “Oh, good”, she gushed. We’ve been waiting for these for ages.” “What is it?” I asked. “My husband’s new hearing aids.”