February 14 Humor

@ I work as a receptionist at a doctor’s office.  Last Valentine’s Day, I arrived there to find a mystery man pacing up and down holding a package. As I got out of the car, he declared warmly, “I have something for you.”  Expecting a present from my secret admirer, I excitedly ripped it open the bundle. It was a Urine sample.

@ I’m trying to figure out what to give my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. They say diamonds are forever. What says, “this is for the next month and a half?”

# It was fall harvest, so my brother and sister-in-law took their grandsons, Brandon and Connor to visit their first farm. Brandon and had never had a candy apple, so Nancy bought one for him.  “Connor, would you like one?” She asked. “Say no,” Brandon whispered to his brother after taking a bite. “There’s a real apple in there.”