January 28 Humor

* As an avid skier, Eric listened every winter day to the ski report. He sprang to the phone when the announcer offered a free whole day’s lift tickets to the 7th caller. As soon as he dialed the number he was greeted with the magic words, “You are the winner.”    He was so excited he jumped up and swung around, dropped the phone and lost the call.

* My wife, Diane, was chatting with her brother, Charles, a business executive who had retired last year. While discussing the joys of his new leisure time, Charles remarked that he had been compelled to give up skiing, a sport he enjoyed for many years.   “Afraid of injuries?” Diane asked.    “Well, now I am,” he responded. “Before, I could drag a cast into work and still do my job, but now I’d be messing up my golf game.”

# When I was a trained, yet inexperienced, radioman in the Coast Guard, we were sent to sea to ride out hurricane Hazel. As the cutter crashed through 30 foot waves, I held on the rail with one hand while grasping the radio microphone with the other. “Scholz” I heard our bosun’s mate shout over the roaring storm. “What are you doing with that radio?” “I’ve got it in case we have to call for help, sir.” I answered,  “Scholz we are the blankety-blank  help.”