January 3 Humor

* Did you see in the Sharper Image Catalog they have a new Cricket watch that will never need batteries. It has a Swiss movement and keeps great time. You just have to wind it every day.

* I once purchased two watches from a street salesmen on London’s Oxford Street. When I asked if he could furnish me guarantees, he said, “Certainly, Madam. I can give you a five-year guarantee, a 10 year guarantee or even lifetime guarantees.” then he added, “The only thing I can’t guarantee is that I will be here this time next Monday morning.”

Life expectancy  would be lengthened and waistlines shrunken if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.