January 9 Humor

@  I was entertaining at a family restaurant making balloon animals for the children. I went from table to table asking the children what kind of animal they would like. At one table the little boy was very hesitant. After a minute, I prompted him with some of my specialties. “Would you like an elephant, or a giraffe, a dinosaur or maybe just a snake?” The boy was perplexed by the choices and finally asked, “Can’t I just have plain chicken?”

#  I grew up in a non musical family, only one of our five siblings can carry a tune. So, I restricted my singing to private places like the bathtub or the car. But one night, I softly sang a lullaby to my nine month old baby. After the first verse, he sweetly looked into my eyes, removed the pacifier from his mouth and placed it in mine.

*The society matron was distraught and sought consolation from her maid. “Marie, I believe my husband is having an affair with his secretary.”  “Damn, I don’t believe it,” said the maid. “You’re just saying that to make me jealous.”