July 10 Humor

@ In Lebanon man went to a priest and confessed. “Forgive me, father,” he said, sobbing. “During the Iraq war I hid a protestor in my attic.”   “Well,” the priest replied, “that is not a sin.”  “But,” the man admitted, “I made him pay rent.” “That wasn’t very nice,” the priest said, “but you put yourself at risk.”   “Oh, thank you, Father,” the man said. “But I have one more question.” “What is it?” “Do do you think I have to tell him the war is over.”

@ Prof. asked his class, “What is the difference between electricity and lightning?” A student replied,  “We don’t have to pay for lightning.”

% When my niece’s coworker Alice began a job as a government preschool counselor, she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other end of the field Alice approached her and asked if she was all right, the girl said she was. A little while later, however, Alice noticed the girl was in the same spot, still all by herself. Approaching again, Alice offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The girl hesitated then said okay. sensing she was making progress Alice then asked, “Why you standing here all alone?” “Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I am the goalie.”