July 10 Humor

* What do the bottom of the Coke bottles in Poland say?  Open other end.

# It was a blistering hot afternoon as the old Senator stood on the rear platform of a campaign train talking at length to the uneasy crowd of voters gathered at the railroad station. Before he had completed his speech, the train started to pull out. Immediately the crowd broke into applause, accompanied by cheering and shouting. With the shouts fading off in the distance, the senator poured himself a shot of bourbon and remarked to a reporter: “Know something? I’m not sure whether they were applauding for me or for the engineer.”

% When my niece’s coworker Alice began a job as a government preschool counselor, she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Alice approached her and asked if she was all right, the girl said she was. A little while later, however, Alice noticed the girl was in the same spot, still all by herself. Approaching again, Alice offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The girl hesitated then, “Okay”. sensing she was making progress Alice then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?” “Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I am the goalie.”