* Two drunks were talking about their childhood experiences as they clung to the bar.
“You know when I was born, I only weighed a pound and a half and that’s a fact.” Offered number one.
“You don’t shay?” came the reply. “Did you live?”
“Did I live”? Exclaimed the first drunk, “Shay, man you ought to shee me now.”
@ I think my wages are frozen, one worker said to another. When I opened my pay envelope, a light went on.
* One day while out shopping my mother, my wife and her aunt went to restaurant for lunch and decided to have a drink. They liked the drinks so much they ordered another round and then a third. By that time the giggling was getting pretty noticeable and the talk was louder.
The waiter noticing the noise came over to the table and offered that if we wanted another round it would be on the house. When they asked why the drinks would be free the waiter apologized, “The bartender is new and he forget to put the liquor in your earlier drinks.”