May 22 Humor

 * The doctor said to his patient: “Congratulations Mister Figby, I have just checked over your records and the insurance company says you are well.”

 * A farmer had his barn burn down and called out the insurance adjuster. The farmer said he wanted the money to build a better barn. The adjuster surveyed the scene and said that his policy would only allow them to build the same barn that burned down.  The irate farmer said,  “If that is the way your fellows operate, I want to cancel my wife’s life insurance.”

@ My mother and I returned to my parents house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Stephen, my 10-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door, then at the front door in minutes at the side door. We yelled my father’s name over and over, with no answer. Honking the car horn aroused the neighbors, but no one at our house. Finally we called the home land line  waking Stephen. When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in the recliner, snoring with the television on. Mom quickly quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up, “Don’t turn that thing off,” he said. “I’m watching it.”