November 19 Humor

* Two drunks were talking about their childhood experiences as they clung to the bar. “You know when I was born, I only weighed a pound and a half and that’s a fact.” Offered number one.   “You don’t shay?” came the reply.  “did you live?”  “Did I live”? Exclaimed the first drunk, “Shay man you ought to shee me now.”

* On a business trip to New York I took my 18 month old son along to visit his grandparents. As we got on the plane for a 7am flight I saw all the grimaces of the business passengers as they saw my little boy. All through the flight we talked and played and I kept him busy every moment. When the light came on to prepare for landing I was pretty happy with myself that my son did not cry or whine once the whole trip. We buckled back up and the man next to me said, “Your son has been great on this trip, but you are driving me nuts.”

@ A farmer had his barn burn down and called out the insurance adjuster. The farmer said he wanted the money for his loss. The adjuster surveyed the scene and said that his policy would only allow them to build the same barn that burned down. The adjuster said he could not do that. The irate farmer said,  “If that is the way your fellows operate, I want to cancel my wife’s life insurance.”