October 5 Humor

* My mother had tried every diet she read about over the years without much beneficial effect. Suddenly she was eating practically nothing and exercising everyday. I asked her what the program was that had inspired all this effort. She went to the refrigerator and showed me the invitation to her 20th school reunion.

* After dieting and exercising for a few weeks, I measured myself and was delighted to see I had lost 4 inches. When my husband came home that night I told him. “Gee, honey”, he said “what does that make you now four foot 11?”

* Warming to friend: “if I make it through the day without eating ice cream, I reward myself with chocolate chip cookies”.