* Then there was the Texan who was seeing a psychiatrist. His trouble was that he kept forgetting the Alamo.

@ Sheldon: I understand you have been going to a psychiatrist. Do you think that has helped you?” Lloyd: “It certainly has, only a few weeks ago when the phone rang I was afraid to answer it. Now I go right ahead and answer the phone whether it rings or not.”

# Teaching freshman English at a college in New York I was very strict about grammar and punctuation. One day as we read the works of the modern poet, a young woman seemed puzzled. “How come he uses capital letters in the middle of the sentence and misspells some of the words? She asked. “That’s called poetic license”, I explained. “Oh,” she replied. “How can I apply for one.”