* A gas company meter reader had an apprentice with him one day and they were teasing each other about their age difference. After reading a meter in the basement of a house the senior guy challenged the young guy to a foot race to the next house. As soon as they broke the door they took of running at top speed. When they stopped around the corner they were surprised to find the lady from the last house running right behind them. They asked her what she was doing and she replied, “I don’t know, but when I saw the two men from the gas company run away form my house, I figured I had better get out of there too.”

@ The terms for politicians should be 10 to 20 with possibility of parole.

@ I waited and waited for my turn in traffic court to pay my ticket for running a red light. I told the judge that I needed to have my case put ahead, because I was a teacher and needed to get back to class. The judge got a gleam in his eye, cocked his head and said, “Madam, I have been waiting for teacher in my court. Now sit down at that table over there and write “I will not crash red lights 500 times.”