* As an avid skier, Eric listened every winter day to the ski report. He sprang to the phone when the announcer offered a free whole days lift tickets to the 7th caller. As soon as he dialed the number he was greeter with the magic words, “You are the winner.”    He was so excited he jumped up and swung around, dropped the phone and lost the call.

@ I called the temp agency looking for work, and they ask if I had any phone skills I responded, “I called you, didn’t I?”

# When I was a trained, yet inexperienced, radioman in the Coast Guard, we were sent to sea to ride out hurricane Hazel. As the cutter crash through 30 foot waves, I held on the rail with one hand while grasping the radio receiver with the other. “Scholz” I heard our bosun’s mate shout over the roaring storm. “What are you doing with that radio?” “I’ve got it in case we have to call for help, sir”. I answered,  “Scholz we are the blankety-blank  help”.