* The Mona Lisa is deteriorating. It’s warped and buckling. Don’t worry, they’re going to have a crew repair it. It’s the same team that worked on Cher.

* Every time I look at the picture of Whistler’s mother I think how lucky we are to be waiting for the cable guy to show up.

@ I walked into the music store to buy a CD of Debussy’s Clair De Lune. I found the hip-hop, the R&B, the country and jazz sections of the store, but no area where I might find a Debussy CD. “Excuse me,” I said to the young clerk. “Do You have a classical section?” After a brief hesitation she asked, “You mean like Elvis?”