* Interviewing a woman applicant, the kindly Social Security claims representative wanted to make sure that no tangles would prevent her from getting her full benefits.  “Were either you or your husband married before,” he asked the woman. The woman glared indignantly at him and snapped, “Before what?”

* George left this vale of tears and found himself at the gates of hell. He walks up to a sign that points in two directions. One side says capitalist Hell and the other says Socialist Hell.

George asked the guard what they do in Socialist hell. The guard responded; “They boil you in oil, whip you and put you on the rack.”

What do they do in Capitalist hell?

The guard explained, “Pretty much the same thing.”

” Then why is everyone in line for socialist hell?” queried George.

Because in Socialist Hell they are constantly running out of whips and oil and the rack keeps breaking down.” came the guard’s reply.

@ The husband-and-wife union family were talking saying: “We have to put an end to this exploitation by the robber barons of industry, flimflaming the working man and woman out of the fruitful rights of their labors. I’m going down to the union hall and vote strike.” She said, “Me too, should we take the Caddy or the Jag?”