September 26 Humor

@ Zeke asked Buck, “Were you ever married.”  “Sure was, but my wife ran away on me.” “How did that happen.” She ran away while I was taken a bath.” Zeke offered. “I bet she waited a long time for that opportunity.”

# There was a man who was marooned on a deserted island. He had made a life for himself and was crudely dressed and had a long beard. One day as he walked the surf and shapely young lady came out of the water in a wet suit. He was amazed and the woman asked, “Have you been here  long?” He replied, “since 2005.”  She asked, “How long has it been since you had a cigarette?” He said “a long time.” She reached into the suit and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and they lit up together. She asked him “how long has it been since you had a drink?” He said “a long time.” She opens another pocket and pulls out a flask of whiskey and they share a drink. She asks him, “how long has it been since you played around?” He looked at her wistfully and said “a long time.” She reached up and started to unzip the front of her wet suit and the stranded man said, “Don’t’ tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there too.”

@ A West Virginia preacher was having a heart to heart talk with one of the weaker souls in the congregation. He was trying to convince him that his habit of drinking moonshine and arguing with the neighbors which led to occasional shotgun blasts was not good for him. The parson said, “Can’t you see Ben that not one good thing comes out of all your feudin and drinkin?” Ben replied, “Well, I sorta disagree with ya there, the drink makes me miss the folks I am shootin’ at.”