It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked.  “Yes or No,” she replied.

“Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees..”   “But Center, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?”
“Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?”

How do you know when you are half way through a date with a pilot?  Because he says: “That’s enough about flying, let’s talk about me!”

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, “Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami.”  She said, “We can’t do that!” I told her, “You did it last week!”