Catching a train
A man has survived clinging to the outside of an Austrian high-speed train en route from Zurich to Vienna, Austria’s state railway said. The man late Saturday grabbed onto the outside of the train at St. Poelten, west of Vienna, railways spokesman Herbert Hofer told AFP, and was later taken onboard after the train performed an emergency stop. “It is irresponsible, this kind of thing usually ends up with someone dying,” he said. “And you’re not just putting yourself in danger, if you end up under the train there’s rescuers, there’s police, fire service that come,” he added. The Railjet train was on its way from Zurich in Switzerland to the Austrian capital and left Sankt Poelten on time but arrived in Vienna with a seven-minute delay, Hofer said.
Citing a passenger onboard, Austrian tabloid Heute said the man jumped into the space between two carriages after the train began to set off from a planned stop in Sankt Poelten. The man had taken advantage of being at a station to smoke a cigarette on the platform. The man soon began to bang on windows to attract attention, Heute said, resulting in the train’s conductor activating the emergency brake before train crew took the man aboard. “The conductor really had a very big go at him,” the passenger told the reporter. The man is a 24-year-old Algerian and was led away by police after the train arrived in Vienna’s Meidling station, the newspaper reported.
Meanwhile in Hungary
The 40-year-old Hungarian commuter had been riding on the Intercity Express train, which was traveling cross-country from Munich to Lübeck when he decided to take a smoke break at the station in Ingolstadt. However, the bozo spent too long puffing away and the locomotive’s door closed, threatening to strand him at the stop. So, in a split-second decision, the rider decided to jump onto the bracket between two of the cars like something out of an action movie, the Guardian reported. The train then sped away at 175 miles per hour, making 20 miles with the daredevil hanging on for dear life before witnesses saw him and alerted the authorities. The conductor then brought the train to a halt in Kinding, Upper Bavaria. A police officer from the state police who happened to be traveling with the train found the 40-year-old Hungarian ‘passenger’ and brought him on to the train,” a police representative said.
The traveler — who was “amazingly,” unharmed was subsequently removed at the next stop and the iron horse continued on its way. He was then handed over to authorities in Nuremberg. While being questioned, the rider revealed the “loco-motive” behind his harebrained stunt: he claimed he’d left his luggage onboard the train during his cigarette break and didn’t want to lose it. The perp will likely be charged with disrupting operations and is also being with theft because he did not possess a valid ticket. In light of the ludicrous situation, authorities have implored the public to refrain from engaging in “life-threatening nonsense.”
Will crowds of protesters form now to force the trains to have smoking cars?
Or must smokers continue to be abused and disdained by the privileged public for their addiction?
Timely thinking
Boss: This is the third time you’ve been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?
Me: That it’s only Wednesday?
Teacher: “Why are you late?”
Student: “Someone told me to go to hell.”
Teacher: “Why did that make you late to class?”
Student: “I couldn’t find it at first, but now here I am.”
What do you call a hurricane that’s late?
A Takeitstimeacane.
A man is running late to a very important interview and is waiting for a taxi outside of his apartment complex. If he nails the interview it can land him a very high paying job that can change his life. With no taxi in sight the man starts to get desperate. He looks up and says “God please help me get a taxi. I know I haven’t been an exemplary human but please I need this break at this point in my life.” A few minutes go by and still no taxi in sight. He gets on his knees “God, I’m begging you help me! I promise I will stop cheating on my wife, I will stop beating my kids, and I will stop drinking my life away!
Suddenly, he notices a taxi pull up. The man says “Never mind, I found my taxi.”
August 25th Birthdays
1988 – Blake Lively, 1968 – Rachel Ray, 1970 – Claudia Schiffer, 1927 – Althea Gibson
1955 – Elvis Costello, 1967 – Tom Hollander, 1962 – Billy Ray Cyrus, 1930 – Sean Connery