September 14th Humor

* Our granddaughter was asked to write a story for her second grade class about her personal hero. She chose her father and he was tickled to hear that. “Why did you pick me,” he asked.  The girl replied, “Because I could not spell Arnold Schwarzennegger.”

A marine recruiter stopped in a little southern town and noticed that on several trees there were targets painted with bullet holes dead center. Being curious he looked around and sure enough there were similar bull’s-eyes on junk cars and old buildings. He decided this marksman might be a good candidate for the marines. He asked about the shooter and was directed to the town fool. Incredulously, he asked, “How did you learn to shoot so straight?” The fool answered, “It is easy I just shoot first and then paint the targets afterward.”

I called a niece who lived on the coast of Oregon and asked instructions to find their house while we visited out West. She took a lot of time and great detail to tell me which roads to take and the landmarks at nearly every corner. Following the instructions I had written down we pulled right into their driveway. Getting out of the car, I saw that she had never mentioned that they live right next to a gigantic lighthouse.