April 28th Jokes

* Unfailingly courteous to fans, Jay Leno always signs autographs, poses for pictures and somehow finds time to call many of the people who write to him. “I called one woman,” says Jay and I ask, “is Susan there?” “No, who is this”?    “This is Jay Leno.” “Well, this is her mother. What do you want?”   “She wrote me a letter,” I replied. “Oh, well,” she answered. “She writes to every crackpot on television.”

I was with a girlfriend as she renewed her drivers license. Since the last renewal, she had lost 20 pounds, dyed her hair blonde was wearing contacts Instead of glasses. Because she was getting married in a few days she gave the motor vehicle clerk her new last name and her new address. After recording all these changes, the clerk looked up. “Is all of this a coincidence?” he asked, “or have you entered the witness protection program?”

You think so much of your old golf game that you don’t even remember our wedding day” she complained. He rebutted, “Of course I do, my dear, it was the morning I sank that 30 foot putt on #17 at Grey Hawk.”