June 9th Humor

Tomorrow, President Obama will deliver another important speech. Aides say he won’t mention the war on drugs because he’s still not sure which side he’s on.

* On his first set of maneuvers a new captain was out to impress everyone. He stood on the bridge and ordered the ship full speed ahead  zigzagging in and out of the other ships in the formation. A sailor came to the bridge announcing to the operating crew there was message from the admiral. The pompous new captain said, “Read it aloud, sailor”. The sailor read, “You idiot, what are you doing, you almost rammed the flagship.” The captain gulped and said, “Thank you sailor, take the message below and have decoded.”

@ Our neighbors came back from vacation to find three weeks of newspapers scattered around their yard, even though they had called and cancelled the paper before they left.  The customer service clerk explained, “It appears you have not paid your bill since June. The computer cut you off the first of July. Since you are not listed as a subscriber, there is no way I could stop delivery of the paper.”