September 3rd Humor

After many years of wanting a Bank ATM card I finally got one. The first time I used it was at a bank machine in our college town. A student was there when I arrived, and I asked him if he could help me figure out the proper procedure. “Sure,” he replied.    “I explained that I wanted to make a deposit.” He cut me off and said, “I don’t think I can help you. I’ve never made a deposit.”

My wife got an ATM money card. As she tried to use it for the first time, it would not work. I walked over and asked her what her PIN was. “I thought you used your birthdate for your secret number.” My wife said, “I did, but I lied about my age and now I don’t remember what year I told the machine.”

A woman in our town called the police department and complained, “People are speeding on our street. Endangering the lives of children walking to school.” The next morning she herself was stopped for speeding. “But, officer,” she said, “I’m the person called yesterday to tell the police about the speeders.” “Well then, ma’am,” he replied handing her a ticket, “you should be really happy we caught one.”