September 30th Humor

@ Every night after a work a man would stop into the bar and order two martini’s. He would drink the one and then slide into the next seat and drink the second one. The bartender asked him why he performed this ritual. He explained his drinking buddy had moved down south so he was having one drink for himself and one for his buddy. This went on for months and one evening the customer came in and ordered one martini. The bartender trying to be very concerned asked if the customer’s buddy had passed away the customer replied, “Oh no, I had to quit drinking.”

Suzy complained to her friend Paula, “She told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.”  “Well,” replied Paula in a hurt tone, “I told her not to tell you I told her.”  “Oh dear!” sighed Suzy. “Well, don’t tell her I told you that she told me.”

Chubby girls are a lot better than skinny girls. If you go to a skinny girl’s house you will be lucky to get bean sprouts and bottled water. If you go to a chubby girl’s house, you know there is food there.     Chubby girls give the best directions too. They say you go down this street past the second McDonalds, then turn at the Wendy’s and just past the KFC take the second driveway.