October 3rd Humor

Busy with my career I find little time for housework a fact that became all too apparent the night my purse was snatched. I was escorted home by a police officer who wanted to be sure that he had not used the keys in my bag to gain entrance to my apartment. Opening the door with a set of spare keys, the policeman surveyed the condition of the dark apartment with his flashlight. He looked puzzled as I let out a sigh of relief. The policeman asked “this is how you left it”

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on science and nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”  She thought for a moment and then asked, “Is the vacuum on or off?”

* Searching through a freezer full of turkeys for Thanksgiving the lady could not find one large enough. She called over the clerk and pointing to the turkeys asked , “Do they get any bigger?” He looked at her and replied, “No lady, They are dead.”