March 20th Jokes

A three year old was showing one of her friends around the house. They went into the bathroom and the visitor pointed to a the scale and asked what is that?” The little hostess replied, “I don’t know, but when you stand on it, it makes you mad.”

* We had a neighbor who worked second shift and every night about 12:20 am he would pull into his driveway and by virtue of the way the buildings were situated his headlights would flash into our bedroom. My husband would wake up and deliver a tirade about how inconsiderate people were. One night I awoke to feel my husband tossing and turning and being uncomfortable. I asked, “Are you ill?”  “No,” he said, “but it is nearly 2:00 am and the neighbor is not home yet. I am starting to worry about him?”

* I was reading the paper before supper and when we sat down to eat I told my wife that I had read something interesting in the newspaper. “That most car accidents happen within 5 miles of home.”   She stopped, cocked her head in thought and asked, “Do you think we should move?”