April 7th Jokes

* My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me that he drank more than usual the day before. “What is more than usual,” I asked. He responded, “A case.”  “You can drink a case of beer in a day?”   “Well,” he grumbled defensively, “it doesn’t take all day.”

+A foursome was putting when on to the green plopped another ball. As it was close to the cup one of the guys swept it in with his foot and smiled at his fellow players. In a few seconds a chubby golfer came puffing up and asked, “Did you see my ball?” The men all smiled and said “Yes.” “Where did it go” the sweating man asked. “It went right into the hole.” The fat man was incredulous and looked at the men and then walked over to the hole and sure enough the ball was in there. He picked it up and looked at the ball and looked down the fairway. Then he ran back to his group yelling, “Hey Joe, I got a nine.”

My wife is an absolute follow the instructions, by the recipe, baker. But that attention to detail still hasn’t made her chocolate chip cookies taste any better. One day, after the cookies had been in the oven a while, I smelled a familiar odor. “The cookies are burning,” I shouted to her. “I know,” she said nonchalantly. “Aren’t you going to take them out of the oven?”  “No. They still have to be in six more minutes.”