May 11th Humor

* What is the difference between a chess player and government worker? A chess player makes a move every now and then.

# A man got a flat tire right outside the fence surrounding a county mental hospital. He changed the tire and put the lug nuts in the hubcap. As he moved he kicked the hubcap and the nuts rolled into the sewer. He was stuck then and noticed a man inside the fence watching him. The inmate said, “why don’t you take one lug nut of each of the other wheels to attach the tire until you can get to the garage.” The distressed man said this was brilliant idea, thanked him and said, “I don’t know why you are in such a place.” The inmate said, “I am in here for being crazy not stupid.”

In his attempt to put a new patient at ease during a checkup my friend a gynecologist, struck up a casual conversation. After noticing the label on her sandals that said, “Hecho in México,” he asked. “So when were you in Mexico?” flummoxed, the patient asked, “You can tell all that from a pelvic exam?”