October 23rd Humor

* Patron at a bar: “What time do you have bar keep?” Bartender: “I don’t have a watch anymore. I spent 500 bucks on a watch that was waterproof, dustproof, shockproof, and calibrated itself 16 times per second.” The patron asked, “Well where is it?” Bartender: “It caught Fire.”

I just bought a new house. I don’t want to brag, but it is a golf course community. A famous golf course, you may have heard of it: Putt Putt it is a beautiful place: My deck overlooks the third, fourth, 7th, 12th and 15th fairways the windmill and the clowns mouth. I am living the dream.

98 percent of American homes have TV sets. Which means the other two percent of the households have to generate their own sex and violence.