December 27th Humor

The drunk hailed a cab and fell ,into the back seat saying. “Shay, driver take me around the block a hundred times.” The driver was confused, but went along with the request. As they went passed the bar the 56th time, the inebriated man leaned forward and said, “Step on it buddy, I’m in a hurry. ”

A serious drunk walked into a bar and after starring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “Why you worthless insufferable wretched, no good drunk,” she screamed. “Funny,” he muttered, “You even sound like her.”

My husband and I often record TV programs and watch them later. One day my son and his expectant wife were over and my son asked, “If Judy goes to the hospital on superbowl Sunday will you record it for me.” I protested that I don’t like football and I could not record the game. “No” he replied, “record the delivery.”