Bite of a surfboard

Surfboard Crunch

Max Keliikipi, a junior lifeguard, was surfing about a hundred yards offshore of Makaha Beach when he saw what he thought was a turtle’s fin in the water. When he looked down and saw a shark swimming along right under him. As the shark dove down into the water beneath him, Keliikipi put his feet up on the board and kept watch for it. Suddenly, the shark attacked him from beneath, the force of which knocked him into the water as the shark chumped a chunk out of his surfboard. As he held up the damaged board, Max said, “The bite is bigger than my head.  I didn’t really recognize how big this shark bite was until right now. It was the fight or flight thing. And for me, it was just, it was flight. As soon as I hit the water, I just started swimming. I didn’t really think about where the shark was. I just had to get in to shore. Next time, I’m just going to go in the daytime and with my friends.”

While surfing off the Florida coast, a tourist snapped his board. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the broken board. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling safe, the tourist started paddling leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “Wow”, said the tourist. The beachcomber added, “The sharks got ’em.”

I don’t know how people can get eaten by sharks. Can’t they hear that music?

Q: What do you call the stuff between a shark’s teeth?
A: Slow surfers.

I saw a woman at the beach screaming, “Help, shark, help!” I laughed because I knew the shark wasn’t going to help her.