Kia Nut Job

Kia Nut Job

Holly Persic said she smelled burning while driving her Kia to work on Monday. She popped the hood and discovered squirrels had hidden more than 200 walnuts under the hood. The animals had also padded the hood with many mounds of grass. The nuts were everywhere, under the battery, near the radiator fan. The walnuts on the engine block were black and smelled like they were roasting. The couple pulled out most of the nuts themselves. Mechanics at a local garage removed even more ― enough to half-fill a trash can ― from areas of the engine the Persics couldn’t reach. “Long story short, if you park outside, do yourself a favor and check under the hood every once in a while.”

There’s a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him. So, the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him. By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him. The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a squirrel. The squirrel says to the man says, “See, it’s not as easy as it looks, is it?”

I was chasing a squirrel into my back yard. The squirrel ran up a tree.
My car was totaled.

When I moved to California, I was a nervous wreck about earthquakes. My friend Linda, was born and raised there, was completely blasé. I remember once when we pulled up to a light, her Honda began to shake. She looked worried until I stammered, “I think were having an earthquake”. “Thank goodness,” Linda said. “I thought something was wrong with my car.”