Florida Bearly Comfortable
People move to Florida, for the weather and to control their life surroundings. Getting out of the busy, noisy, stuffy city and to a place where you could control the neighborhood and have a house and yard that is just what you wanted it to be. Many folks do find most of that when they move to the now “Free State” of Florida. The house may be better and the neighbors more like you, but everything is not just as on TV. Residents of a normally quiet gated community in Florida were shocked to spot a massive bear sauntering through their neighborhood over the weekend. Stunned homeowners in community of Milano cautiously emerged from their homes to capture video of a sauntering black bear as it explored their front lawns and garbage cans. Jim Ritchie posted his footage of the behemoth on Twitter and narrated the bear’s journey. Ritchie advised the bear from a relatively safe distance: “You’re probably going to have to head back home. Is there somebody you wanted to see here?”
One evening, Chuck Robbins saw a message that someone had spotted a bear in his neighborhood. So, he did what any self-respecting Floridian would do. He ventured outside looking for a bear hoping to shoot some pictures, maybe even a video. Much to Robbins’ disappointment, though, the bear eluded him. So, he came back home, called it a night, and went to bed. Soon enough, his dreams turned into reality. Robbins woke up to a text from his neighbor. The message said a “big bear” was in Robbin’s front yard. Excited, he wanted to go take a look, but decided it’d be smart to peek through a window first. And it’s good he did because the bear was sleeping on his porch. “He was just laying down, rolling over.” Robbins said he’s seen a lot of bears, but this one was the biggest, about 375 pounds. “It was amazing. I just walked out, and it was like right there in front of me and so close,” Chuck recalled. Wait, he went out to see the bear? Well, let nobody say the man lacks courage.
Lynn Wracan had hung Christmas lights on her avocado tree. There have been plenty of bear sightings in recent months around the Thousand Oaks area where she lives. Lynn had also spotted the animal rummaging around her avocado trees in the wee hours of the morning. She assumed the bear was fascinated by the colorful lights. But she was wrong. She caught the bear consuming the avocados. “He’s eating our avocados. No, that’s not a good idea, pumpkin.” After seemingly eating some of the fruit, the bear lays down on her patio furniture. It seems the bear has developed an interest in a healthy diet, because Lynn isn’t the only victim of the beast’s fruit-pilfering habits, several incidents of disappearing fruits appeared around the neighborhood. Black bears are actually Florida natives. With fewer wild places left for them to roam, they’re increasingly finding their way into human settlements. The good news is that bears wandering the neighborhood at night will keep burglars away.
Bear Necessities
Designing bear-proof garbage cans is very hard…
There will always be a significant overlap between the smartest bears, and the dumbest people.
Q: “How do you tell a brown bear from a grizzly bear?”
A: Climb a tree. If the bear climbs the tree and eats you, it’s a brown bear.
If it knocks the tree down and then eats you, it’s a grizzly bear.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Polar Bears in Coke ads prove global warming is a hoax.
December 14th Birthdays
1992 – Tori Kelly, 1988 – Vanessa Hudgens, 1972 – Miranda Hart, 1946 – Patty Duke
1984 – Jackson Rathbone, 1982 – Josh Fields, 1979 – Kyle Shanahan, 1972 – Marcus Jensen