June 9 Humor

 @ Our neighbors came back from vacation to find three weeks of newspapers scattered around their yard, even though they had called and cancelled the paper before they left.

The customer service clerk explained, “It appears you have not paid your bill since June. The computer cut you off the first of July. Since you are not listed as a subscriber, there is no way I could stop delivery of the paper”.

 @ Here are its five things you don’t want to hear from computer tech support” number one “duuude bummer” Number two “in layman’s terms we call that the Hindenburg effect”. Number three “Your problem can be fixed but you’re going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery'”. Number four: “Press one for support, “Press two  if you are with 60 minutes. “Press three, if you’re with the FTC. Hold on a second, Mom, Timmy is hitting me again.”

 # A very important Russian government official was riding through the Balkans when he saw a farmer out in his field on his knees praying. He stopped the car and stomped over to the man. “Why are you wasting your time praying when you should be plowing and planting for the party?”     The farmer answered, “But Commissar, I was praying for the party.”      “Huh, Praying for the party. Years ago you probably prayed for the Czar.”      “Yes, I did, Commissar.”    “Well…look what happened to the Czar.”   The farmer smiled and said, “Right.”