January 2 Humor

* There was an older minority state employee driving a dump truck down a New Jersey road at a high rate of speed. The state trooper clocked the truck and pulled him over. The trooper got his license and asked, “Do your know you were going over 60 miles per hour in this truck?”  “No seh, I didn’t know that.”   “Haven’t you got a governor on that truck?”  “No seh, the governor is in Trenton, that is fertilizer that you smell.”

* My brother was alarmingly me by speeding through a red light. I  said “What if the traffic cameras are watching you?”  “Stop worrying,” he sighs, “It doesn’t matter if they are watching or not,” he assured me.  ” I don’t have license plates yet.”

* I was driving with my sister in law in the passenger seat. She has this annoying habit of saying everything three times in a row.  As I drove down the street, she blurted out: “Slow down, slow down, slow down.” Just to show her who was boss I said “shut up” and stepped on the gas to go even faster down the street. When I looked in the rearview mirror I saw a motorcycle cop behind me with his lights flashing. It seemed a long time as the cop made his way off the bike and to the side window. “What’s the hurry he asked?” My sister in law piped up, “Give him a ticket officer, give him a ticket , give him a ticket.” The cop asked me if I knew what the speed limit here was. My sister in law piped up again with, “He is always speeding, always, always.”  The policeman asked me to get out of the car. I thought he was going to arrest me. At the rear of the car he looked over my license and registration and then turned to me saying, “You can go, but drive more carefully next time. I have one at home just like her.”