January 7 Humor

* My new secretary presented a letter for me to sign near the end of the day. Unfortunately, I found a mistake in it. I signed it and gave back to her anyway to be mailed, but she did not want to have it go out that way and reran the letter. When I came back to the office, there was the letter with a post-it note on it marked “Please Resign.”

@ George Burns punctuates the story with a flick of his cigar. A Woman said to me, “is it true you still go out with young girls?”   I said “yes, it’s true.”  She said “Is it true that you still smoke 15 or 20 cigars a day?”  I said, “yes that’s true.” She said, “Is it’s true that you still take a few drinks every day?”   I said, ” yes it’s true.” She asked what does your doctor say about this?”   I said, “He’s dead.”

# When my sister Jenny cooks, she often substitutes ingredients for those in the recipe. I gave her the recipe for chicken and walnut dish that her husband my brother, likes and she served it one night when I was over. In place of walnuts used raw peanuts for the chicken she substituted beef, in fact every major ingredient had been replaced, “This is terrible.” My brother said after his first bite. “Well, don’t blame me,” Ginny retorted, “it’s your sister’s recipe.”