April 27 Humor

 # Interviewing a woman applicant, the kindly Social Security claims representative wanted to make sure that no tangles would prevent her from getting her full benefits.  “Were either you or your husband married before?” he asked the woman. The woman glared indignantly at him and snapped, “Before what?”

 + Working at the post office, I’m used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded with my “calmest” voice, “What’s the trouble?”  “I went out this morning,” she began, “and when I came home I found a card that says the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing.” After apologizing, I got her parcel. “Oh, good,” she gushed. ‘We’ve been waiting for these for ages.”  “What is it?” I asked. “My husband’s new hearing aid.”

Sam showed up at a revival meeting seeking help. “I need you to pray for my hearing,'”  he tells the preacher. The preacher calls him up to the front and puts his fingers in the Sam’s ears and prays and prays and prays. When he is done praying, he asks Sam, “How is your hearing now?”  “I don’t know,” says Sam. “I don’t go to court on till next Tuesday.”