April 8 Humor

 # It was the first day of school and student son of a Japanese businessman entered the 7th grade. Teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said give me liberty or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for Toshiba’s hand waving “Patrick Henry 1775” said the boy. “OK, now,  who said, “government of the people by the people and for the people shall not perish from the face of the earth?”  Again, no response from anyone except Toshiba: “Abraham Lincoln in 1863”. The teacher snapped of the class, “you should be ashamed. Toshiba who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do.”  As she turned to write something on the blackboard she heard a loud whisper: “Damn Japanese.” She whirled around, “Who said that?” Toshiba put up his hand, “Lee Iacoca in 1982,” he said.

@  After my friend James moved to Florida from Massachusetts, he immediately took advantage of the good fishing in the area. After assembling the gear that he’d use for freshwater fishing up North, he settled in a popular spot on the intercoastal waterway, attach his favorite lure to his line and cast it out. Within a minute he caught a beautiful 8 pound fish. The local fishermen gazing in admiration as James brought the big catch ashore and offered it to one of the spectators. Accepting with gratitude, the old man asked, “What kind of bait did you use  to land this beauty”? “My favorite silver spinner”, James responded proudly call. “no”, the old-timer exclaimed. “You can’t catch anything on that. You’ve got to use live shrimp.”

 * Hall of fame pitcher Lefty Gomez was not a very good hitter. When asked he ever had broken a bat he replied, “Only one time, when I ran over it backing out of the garage.”