Beards and Germs

Beards and Germs

A new study suggests that bearded guys actually have more germs than a dog’s fur. Researchers near Zurich, Switzerland, wanted to determine whether evaluating humans and dogs in the same MRI scanner would be hygienic. They did so by comparing the bacterial load in colony-forming units (CFU) taken from 18 bearded men and 30 furry dogs. Turns out all the bearded bros showed high microbial counts. “On the basis of these findings, dogs can be considered as clean, compared with bearded men,” study author Andreas Gutzeit told the BBC. “There seems to be a constant stream of negative stories about beards that suggest it’s more about pogonophobia (fear of beards) than anything else.”

 A man comes into a barbershop and says to the barber, “I want my mustache just like Sebastian Gorka.”   The barber says, “OK…no problem.”   The man sits down and the barber sets to work. The customer is given a mirror and yells at the barber, “Hey Sebastian Gorka doesn’t look like this.” The barber answers, “He would if he came here!”

 It’s good to have beardless friends. When you go out, everyone assumes you’re their leader.

When people ask me if my beard makes me hot in the summer, I tell them it makes me hot all year long.

If you have a beard but can’t change a tire, please shave.