Bearly tolerating monkeys

Bearly tolerating monkeys

Sikandarpur village in Uttar Pradesh has a big problem they were flooded with monkeys. Monkeys that attacked children, stole food and anything shiny. 24 hours a day the monkeys would sit and chatter and leave their feces wherever they sat. The state had no money for monkey removal and the cost of a trapper was too great. The folks are religiously prohibited from killing the animals. So they put their heads and their money together and bought 2 bear suits. The men take turns wandering the town spooking the monkeys acting like a hungry bear.

Someone told me today that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
Pretty obvious, since I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

My friend did not believe in the existence of trousers for monkeys.
I looked them up on Amazon and told him, “Chimp pants, see?”

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.

It is said that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Today, thanks to social Media, we know that is not true

My wife asked me to stop singing “I’m a Believer” by The Monkeys. At first, I thought she was kidding. But then I saw her face…