Dopey Bridge Player

Dopey Bridge Player

Norwegian Geir Helgemo was handed a one-year ban from his Olympic Sport after testing positive for drugs at a competition last year. He will not be able to compete until November 2020 and has lost all titles, medals and points from 2018. “It is his responsibility not to take substances that are on the doping list, even though in this instance they are not performance-enhancing in bridge.” The Daily Telegraph reported that 3.6% of bridge players were caught with prohibited substances in their body, along with 1.1% of billiards players and 10.6% of anglers.

There once was a woman who plays poker once a month with a group of female coworkers who was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 1:00 am. One night she decided to try not to wake him. She undressed in the living room and, put her purse over her shoulder, and tiptoed nude into the bedroom, but was surprised to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. “Dammit woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend. “I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there are three doctors there already!”

I found a way to keep my husband from gambling. I just spend the money first.

I hate playing cards in the Oval Office. The president always has a Trump card.