Have you seen a wabbit? A vewy big wabbit?

Police said they were hunting for Darius, one of the world’s largest rabbits which may have been Hare-napped over the weekend. “We are appealing for information following the theft of an award-winning rabbit from its home in Stoulton, Worcestershire.” police said. “The rabbit is unique by its 4 foot size.” Darius, who became a 2010 Guinness world record holder for his huge length, was stolen from a garden enclosure in central England on Saturday night. Darius’ owner, Annette Edwards, had offered a reward of $1,400 for his safe return. The pair used to tour the country together with owner Edwards donning a Jessica Rabbit style outfit to show off gigantic Darius. At the time, she said the celebrity bunny was insured for $1.6 million, had an agent and travelled with a bodyguard. Darius’ disappearance comes amid a spike in pet theft in England during the coronavirus lockdown.

 

An armful of fuzzy humor

My little boys wanted to have a pet and we settled on a rabbit after much wrangling and prodding by them. As I expected, the novelty wore off quickly and the rabbit was mostly forgotten. Frustrated by the lack of commitment to their animal I asked, “How many times do you think that rabbit would have died, if I had not been the one to go out there to feed and water it.” The 12 year old looked at me and said. “Once”.

A priest, a rabbit, and a monk all walk into a bar.
The bartender says, ‘What will it be?’
The priest says, ‘a glass of wine.’
The monk says, ‘I will only have water, as I am fulfilled internally.’
The rabbit says, ‘I don’t know. The only reason I’m in this story is autocorrect!’

Q: What airline do rabbits use?
A: British Hare-ways!

What do you call a row of 10 rabbits jumping backwards?
A receding hare line.

 

April 14th Birthdays

1994 – Skyler Samuels, 1977 – Sarah Michelle Gellar, 1996 – Abagail Breslin

1988 – Chris Wood, 1995 – Adam Dimarco, 1996 – Baker Mayfield

 

Morning Motivator

Don’t wait for the sunshine – make your own!

 

Wait ‘til I get my hands on the wascally wabbit wobber