If they were smart, they wouldn’t be criminals

If they were smart, they wouldn’t be criminals

Security camera footage shows a man walking into the store to rob it and attempting to pull out what police later said was a replica handgun. Instead, he ends up dropping the “gun” over the counter instead. Security Video captures the surprise on the suspect’s face as the gun falls out of reach. He attempts to climb over the counter to get his “gun” back, but can’t make it. He chickens out and runs back out the door. He is then seen losing his pants before going off screen. The female clerk calmly retrieves the BB gun from the floor then locks the door.

I picked up a hitchhiker the other night and he asked me, “How did you know I was not a serial killer?” I replied, “The chances of two serial killers in the same car are astronomically low.”

I was recently out for an evening with friends and had more than a few beers. I still had the common sense to know I was just slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something new I took a taxi. On the way home, there was a police roadblock. But since it was a taxi, they waved it past, and I arrived safely home without incident. This was a real surprise to me. Why? Well, because I had never driven a taxi before.

A police officer stops a young woman for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

A thief was arrested for breaking into a closed Toys “R” Us store and stealing a board game… He got “Life”.