July 20 Humor

* In the morning, he remembered he had left two tickets to the Indians baseball game on the dashboard of his car parked on the street. He went out before work to check on them and saw the windshield was smashed. His wife asked, “Did someone steal the tickets?”  He replied, “No worse than that, Somebody left four more.”

 @ A banker approaches the pearly gates sweating and struggling with a very heavy suitcase. St. Peter greets him and says “Set down the suitcase and, come on in.” “No way, barks the banker, I have to bring it in with me.” “What could possibly be in the suitcase that is so important you brought it into heaven with you?” asked Peter. The banker opens the suitcase to reveal 50 gold bricks. Saint Peter’s jaw drops open and he asks, “you brought pavement?”

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench one night talking and one says to the other “Which do you think his farther away Florida or the moon?” The other Blond turns and says ‘Hellooooo, can you see Florida?”