Man versus nature

Mick Moloney was walking in the bush with his two dogs. Nick is a retired police officer, who reportedly trains in Brazilian jiujitsu. Walking by the river, he noticed that one of his dogs, Hutchy, was nowhere to be found. He had observed that his other dog was acting unusually quiet and not venturing into the river — a departure from their normal routine of frolicking “in the water.” Moloney reportedly looked at the river and saw a “7ft tall” kangaroo with its arms submerged in the water. All of a sudden, “Hutchy came up gasping for air, water spilling out of his mouth and screaming his head off,” the ex-cop recounted. “I was like, ‘are you kidding me?’” exclaimed Moloney, who sprang into action to rescue Hutchy from his deadly interspecies baptism.  There was some video, filmed on the Mick’s smartphone, showing the ex-cop approaching the marsupial, who is holding his dog in the water while it eyeballs Mick inquisitively. Mick punched an allegedly kangaroo that was drowning his dog, kicking off a wild interspecies brawl.  “I’m going to punch your f*&%$#in head in,” warns Moloney, before commanding the marsupial to let go of his dog. So he smacks the Roo in the head.

Now the fight is on, Hutchy is abandoned by the roo as he is going fist to claw against Nick. While he had attempted to video the fight, Mick’s phone got dropped on the pond and his video is muddled at best. The video below is of another Aussie who saved his dog from an attack by roo. Despite his grappling pedigree, the ex-cop stated that his BJJ skills were ineffective versus the critter, which seemingly bested him with its mixed marsupial arts. Thankfully, both Moloney and his pooch came away from the “punch on” (fight) largely unscathed.

“I got a few (scratches),” the brawler recalled. “My forearm was killing me for most of the day. Interestingly, a lot of the commenters seemed to back the roo with many accusing Mick of letting his dogs chase the critter into the water. “That’ll teach him. Don’t let your dogs chase wildlife,” criticized another. “They can and will drown what they view as a predator, so that dude definitely saved his dogs life,” they explained. Dragging predators to a watery grave is a known defense tactic for the marsupials. “There’s a very strong instinct — kangaroos will go to water if they’re threatened by a predator.”

Despite their Dr. Seuss-like appearance, kangaroos are formidable combatants. Along with drowning, the beasts — which have been known to grow to 6 or 7 foot tall and weigh nearly 200 pounds — are known to box with their forepaws and stand on their tails and deliver vicious two-legged kicks.

Marsupial mirth

Did you hear about the beer made entirely out of rabbits, frogs and kangaroos?
It’s mostly hops.

What do you call a prison full of kangaroos? Australia.  

A kangaroo hops into a bar and orders an espresso martini.
While the Barkeeper serves the drink to the kangaroo another customer remarks:
“Don’t you find it weird that a kangaroo hops into your bar and orders an espresso martini?”
“Yes, normally he asks for ‘Fosters.’”

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says: “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says: “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks: “And what are those?”
The Aussie, fed up with the bragging, asks with an incredulous look: “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”

October 17th Birthdays

1982 – Angel Parker,  1985 – Felicity Jones, 1956 – Mae Jemison, 1948 – Margot Kidder

1979 – Alan Jackson, 1972 – Eminem, 1938 – Evel Knevil, 1963 – Norm McDonald

Morning Motivator:

Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have.

Stand by your dog